The Move to Gordon Hospice House

Well Folks, I think I have spent the most difficult time of my life so far this week.  All through rearing children there has been some heart breaking incidences that I have had to deal with.  I still find my self worrying about my children, their spouses and my only grand child.

This past week I have made my self come to terms with Bob’s illness.  Each day this week he has exhibited sign of pain more and more often.  The seizure medicine continues to keep him subdued plus he had to be given pain meds when he made noises associated with pain.  I wanted to take him home so I would have more control over how his medicines were administered.   My son insisted that it would be more than I would be able to handle alone. He and my daughter have to work so the time they could contribute to help me would be limited.  I was afraid the Hospice House would not feed Bob through the feeding tube that was placed in his stomach.  A couple of kind women who work with Hospice house came and talked with me and assured me that his tube feeding would continue as long as he was benefiting from them.  After many tearful episodes I finely realized that if some thing went wrong while I was alone at home with him in the middle of the night I would be devastated.  One reason Bob wanted to go home was to play with his dog.  The Gorden Hospic House  ladies informed me that the dog could  come  for a visit.  After a long evening of crying, soul-searching and praying, God gave me the strength to make the decision to make the move to Hospice House.

I had become close with many of the members of the staff  at the skilled nursing facility at  Iredell Memorial Hospital in Statesville, N.C.   Everyone who I dealt with were very kind and calming when I became upset or disturbed about something.  I will  miss them all very much. So late this afternoon the move was made, with a limited amount of discomfort for all of us.

So at this point I begin a new phase of my life.  Letting go and learning to accept things that I cannot change, to be strong and brave and learn how to accept any help my friends and family offer.  I have a lot to learn and I have a lot of kind and loving people who want to help me through this most difficult of times.  I appreciate all the people who have been kind enough to want to help and I am trying to learn how tell them what I need.  The emotional support is most appreciated.   I am not as alone in this as I sometimes feel.  I want to thank  all of you who want to make things easier for me to bear this tragic situation Bob and I are experiencing.

Nancy Shoemaker at Gorden Hospice House in Statesville.

1/30/2012